Four Things Kids Wish Parents Knew About Divorce

 Posted on January 23, 2025 in Divorce

One of the things that stops many people from getting a divorce is the thought of what it could do to young children. Divorce is tough even on adult kids, but research suggests it can have a seriously negative impact on young kids if the divorce process and its aftermath are not managed well. 

That being said, many people come from childhoods involving divorce and very happy, successful lives. If you want to get divorced but also want to protect your children, our Florida family law attorneys can help. Understanding a few things that kids often wish their parents knew about divorce is a great place to start.

Kids Do Not Want to Choose Between Their Parents

Children whose parents are getting divorced or have already gotten divorced often feel as though they need to show loyalty when they are with each parent. Thoughtless disparaging comments made about your ex can put your son or daughter in a position where they feel like they have to agree with you or risk betraying you. Unfortunately, that agreement often means they instead feel as though they are betraying their other parent. Be extra careful about the way you speak about your ex; your kids should not be the place where you ever vent your negative feelings. 

Kids Understand More Than You Think They Do

Most parents are unsure exactly how much of the reasons for divorce they should discuss with their kids.  But kids of all ages are masters of listening in on conversations, reading facial cues, and using other means to decipher what is really going on with their parents. 

When parents do not give kids the information they are looking for, kids often end up filling the gaps with their own immature guesses, which can ultimately be harmful. While this is never an exact science, a good rule of thumb is that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to have an honest (but appropriate) answer. 

Kids Do Not Want the Dirty Details

Even though children of a certain age want and deserve honest answers to their questions about your divorce, sensitive information about your marriage and breakup – especially information of a sexual nature – should not be discussed with kids of any age. Whether you want to talk about these things with your children once they are adults and understand adult relationships is another question, but until then, keep those conversations between yourself and other adults. 

Kids Wish You Could Let It Go

For most people, getting married is meant as a lifetime commitment. Having that commitment break apart understandably comes with strong emotions that can be very hard to let go of. Even though it is understandable to hang on to resentment over why your marriage ended, you are not the only person impacted by this behavior. 

You do not have to fully forgive or forget your spouse’s misdeeds, but if you can learn to let go enough to give your kids joyful shared experiences that require both your and your ex’s presence – at their wedding, say, or the birth of your grandchildren – you will give your kids an immeasurable blessing. 

Considering Divorce With Young Kids? Contact Our Miami, FL Family Law Attorney

With careful attention to your children’s needs, you and your spouse can get divorced while giving your children a happy, confident future. Learn more about how Miami Family Law Group, PLLC helps families solve custody issues and protect their children by calling 305-520-7874 and scheduling a free consultation with one of our Miami, FL divorce lawyers.